everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize