I just cut my nipple shaving
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
