Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
