So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
where are you?
Hypothermia
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
