we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
