; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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