I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
