Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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