I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
