apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
