Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
