Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Alive.
So much puke
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
