he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
