Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
