so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
