I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
