If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
