she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i've created a new STD.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
