I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
