You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
