I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
