hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
it's like iHOP with fire
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
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