We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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