Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
