see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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