Whod you bang
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
