I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
