Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
