he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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