we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
