how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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