found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize