You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
