I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
