omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
