Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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