Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
