Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
