True but thats because hes a fetus.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
