No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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