i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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