I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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