The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
