i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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