just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
