I just cut my nipple shaving
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
