think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
