Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
