It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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