I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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