I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
