I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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