Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
