No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
