: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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