I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
