I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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