i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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