If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
