Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Is it because I queefed?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
