i don't like sucking hair
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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