He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
