well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
