If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize