Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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