you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
