I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
