Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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