brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
