Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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