billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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