the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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