I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
