Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
