The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize