Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
