No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Found your dick twin last night
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
