The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
