i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
