READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
