I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I am one with the molecules
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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