Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
